Zombie Mummy Maids



The day I first found out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life and I had know idea how much my life was about to change.

I happened to be at work…. I took myself into the public toilets at the shopping centre and peed on this little stick. Isn’t it strange how a little stick that you pee on gives you some of the most exciting news ever…? Yea anyway, I sat there in the public toilet (when I think about it now, that’s weird and kind of gross) waiting to see if maybe some little miracle had successfully swam its way up and made its way into my child bearing womb….

One line showed up……….then as I watched my magical pee slowly glide through the little window indicator on that little test another line appeared….. I had no idea that I would become “The Zombie Mummy Maid” from this moment and it would be the start of a whole new journey..

Nine months from that moment we welcomed one little boy, seventeen months after the first one we welcomed two more, twin boys and we are now waiting on the fourth…

Finding out you are pregnant with your first then even second, third child is surely one of the greatest moments of your lives!! But it doesn’t mentally prepare you for the years ahead!

We give up everything from our sexy bodies sleep and gorgeous looks,to our social activities and everything inbetween.

Instead We replace it with dirty nappies,baby spew and 2am feeds.Not to mention the broken sleep,incontinent  bladders and leaky nipples. We tend to become more dependant on wine and create bad eating habits. We play hide and seek intentionally, yet we always seem to be found…

We turn into “Zombie Mummy Maids”

How do we keep our shit together??? Ummmmm…. If someone has an answer to this I would really like to be contacted, feel free to email me your advice and ideas and I will kiss your feet to show you how grateful I am and will happily share the information with other Zombie Mummy Maids.

A Zombie Mummy Maid is

  • Someone who basically runs on the strength of trying to keep little humans and one other larger human happy…
  • Someone who is the manager of little humans on a daily basis because basically they don`t know how to look after themselves…. which is fair enough, to a point…. then pretty much they can learn to do it themselves…..
  • She also manages the Larger human as he to can struggle
  • She lives on lots of wine, coffee, chocolate and kids left overs.
  • Some days she gets dressed into something nice,puts some make up on and does her hair. But this is a very rear occasion. I will point out though when she does get that opportunity she can feel pretty good about herself, this can be very beneficial to any Zombie Mummy Maid and should be encouraged.
  • A Zombie Mummy Maid in my opinion is the ruler of the castle. She is the one who does everything and makes sure the routine in the castle is not broken and kept under control. Yet this will not be seen in that way, because she is to the little humans and the larger human, seen as” The Zombie Mummy Maid”

Zombie Mummy Maids make sure;

  • There is enough food to keep little humans and big human happily feed and ensure they are fed a healthy diet and have a full tummy,
  • She will make sure there is clean undies and clothes for little humans and also a big human on a daily basis
  • She will ensure the castle is kept clean and tidy by cleaning up non-stop after little humans and big human.
  • She will keep little humans happy by carting them around in her Zombie Mummy Maid car to sport activities, school, kinder, kids parties, playgrounds etc.
  • She will try and keep big human happy and satisfied even when she is tired and feeling far from attractive and horny.


Lets just point out that there is very little a Zombie Mummy Maid cannot do…


Zombie Mummy Maids from the time they wake to the time they try and get some sleep are always pushing through and ready to seize any day even when they are running on very little energy and when there is no wine left…

I’m a proud Zombie Mummy Maid!!! And even though some days I feel like I cant any more or I loose my shit I still manage……

And at the end of each and every day I get the best cuddles, Kisses and affection from my little humans and also my large human… So it’s all worth it….…

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